Tag Archives: stay at home mom

Less Than 3 Hours

12 Dec

6:06 am –  Got up.

Chug a glass of water/get a cup of coffee.

Move the Elf on the Shelf that I forgot to move last night.

Wake up oldest daughter/make her lunch and get her ready for school.

Clean up milk said child spilled.

Put laundry in washing machine.

Wash breakfast dishes.

Put middle child on potty and bribe her with jelly beans.

Clean up jellybeans.

Email adoption papers for some lovely friends.

Add UpScale DownHome cookbook to my husband’s Amazon “wish list.”  This is the only thing I want for Christmas and if he knows what’s best for  him, he’ll order it for me. (Love you bunches babe!)

Get middle child dressed.

Get myself dressed.  (I’m usually rocking comfy pants when my husband comes home but I got a new sweater the other day and I wore it to church yesterday and got several compliments so I decided rewearing a sweater is better than my usual pink sweatpants.)

Cut the middle child’s fingernails.

Put laundry in dryer.

Cook some eggs. (We have chickens and ducks, and for the life of me, I have no idea which kind I cooked.  I’m backyard illiterate.)

Convince middle child chocolate chips are not breakfast.

Kinda open a cheesestick  but not all the way because she HAS to open it “by myself.”

Tell same child stop yelling at the dog because the dog is NOT trying to eat her cheesestick.

w

Eat cold eggs. (Hey, at least I know they are eggs.)

Share cold eggs with middle child even tho she said she didn’t want any. (Yes I know I do the same thing with my husband, especially if he has french fries, he says it’s super annoying. But we’ve been married for 15 years so he should know better.)

Plead with middle child to drink apple juice out of the orange cup because juice is already in it and I don’t want to wash ANOTHER cup.

Get green cup.

Hear baby wake up and look at clock.

9:02…9:02!!  You’re freakin’ kidding me!!!! It’s only 9:02?!?!? I’ve been up less than 3 hours and I feel like I’ve run a marathon.  Actually I’ve never ran a full marathon.  I’ve ran a half marathon and I’m more tired right now than I was after crossing the finish line.

I’ve reheated my coffee twice and I still haven’t finished it yet.

Mommas. This is life isn’t it?

Yesterday, at church my pastor was talking about “being called.”  We might not be living the life we imagined but we are called to live the life we have.  Whether we realize it or not, we have a circle of influence and it’s up to us to influence it positively or negatively.

You might be a stay at home mom who’s screaming on the inside because you desperately want to get back to an office.  Like everyday you are away, you’re loosing a piece of you. To make deals, close accounts, make bigger decisions than what leggins go with what shirt.  To sit at a desk and drink a hot cup of coffee in peace while catching up on morning emails. Stay at home momma, keep rocking your messy bun; you have earned every beautiful hair out of place.  You are a CEO and doing what it takes to run a successful household, you’re providing a loving and safe place for your babies when they come home from school.

You might be a working mom feeling guilty every second you’re away.  Desperately wishing you were the one rocking that baby of yours to sleep. Longing for the day when you can stay home and make homemade spaghetti sauce instead of opening a jar.  That you were the one kissing skinned knees and wiping away the tears. Working momma, keep rocking your business attire.  You are doing what it takes to pay the bills and to make sure your babies are feed, safe and warm at night.

I’ve been a momma in both worlds and it’s super easy to look at where you are and to long to be somewhere else.  I know what you are going through. YOU.ARE.ENOUGH.  You are loved. You are seen.  You are beautiful. You are forgiven.

You are where you are called to be.  Right now.  In this moment.  Take a deep breath and smile.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Cor 10:31

PS – These are actual events, I took notes this morning.

PPS – I still haven’t finished my coffee yet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Hey Mom Guilt, You’re Dumb

6 Dec

When I was young, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but I always knew it would be something in the Business field. My last 3 jobs were the assistant to a CEO, assistant to a President and an assistant to a VP.  I was the go-to person.  The one expected to have all the answers and if I didn’t, I needed to find them yesterday.

At this point, I had 1 daughter. Even tho I loved working, I felt guilty every time I dropped her off in the morning. I felt guilty when I wasn’t able to be at all her school events.  And I felt guilty when I didn’t make special, homemade treats for her classmates on her birthday.

d

 

When I had my second daughter I quit my job to be a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM.)

w

I was now able to do all those things that made me feel guilty for missing so I should have been happy right??  Nope!! I went through a major identity crisis and kinda went crazy.  I felt guilty because I wasn’t working and “contributing” to the family.  I found my identity in making money. Once that was taken away from me, I didn’t know who I was.  I felt like a liability to our family instead of an asset.  (The sad thing is this was the second time I went through this not making money identity crisis thing. But that is for a different blog on another day.)

I have 3 daughters now and I won’t say I’m over the crazy, I’m a hot mess and that will never change, but I’m over the identity crisis.

l

I am a SAHM. I have food smeared on my shirt, pick up toys, vacuum the floors, do the dishes, the laundry, constantly tell a toddler “stop that” and change 1 million diapers every day.  Right now, my place is in the home and I’m, ok with that. I love that I stay home.  I’m fortunate my husband works hard so I can.

We went grocery shopping today.  The toddler threw a fit because I wouldn’t let her have the “brown pretzels” or walk around barefoot and the baby puked everywhere.  Oh well. I just had to deal with it and move on.  We all survived, therefore I’ll call this grocery store experience a success!

Mammas, listen to me.

Let go of the mom guilt that creeps up and realize YOU.ARE.AWESOME!!!  No matter where you find yourself BE YOU!  You are setting an example for the little people watching you and your actions teach more than your words. If you are a SAHM, rock it! You’re doing the hard work that no one sees but all appreciate.  If you’re a working mom, rock it! You’re showing your kids responsibility and work ethic.

Formula vs. breast milk.  Cloth diapers vs. disposables. Fresh green beans vs. canned. Organic vs. non organic. Day care vs. nanny. Public school vs. homeschool.  Frozen vs. homemade lasagna.  The list goes on and on…

Your life doesn’t have to look like anybody elses so don’t let their opinions get to you.   It’s your life so live it.  Love your babies to the best of your ability.  Take a deep breath.  It’s all gonna be ok.

f

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Cor 10:31.

A Public Prayer

13 Sep

Wow, I just noticed it’s been almost 6 months since my last blog post. I’ll blame it on the fact that I have an almost 7 month old.  See what I did there?  I totally deflected responsibility.  I’m fully anticipating all 3 of my daughters spending tons of money in therapy later and everything will be my fault, its OK, I accept this.  So while I still can, I’ll blame my lack of blogmenship on them.

Now, to my actual blog…

I love music.  80s love ballads and 90s boy bands are my absolute favorite.  I have 10 Pandora stations; I never listen to just one station though, it’s always on shuffle (unless I’m running, then it’s only my Spice Girls station.)  No matter the genre, Jesus Culture, Bethel and Elevation Worship is on every one of them, so pretty much every other song is one of those bands.  Jesus Culture comes on so much that whenever my husband hears them he says “all day everyday.”

Last week at church we sang this song.  Here As In Heaven by Elevation.  Do yourself a favor and listen to it.  Now listen to it again. I can’t sing this song without busting out into prayer, I hope this song inspires you to pray too.

The atmosphere is changing now
For the spirit of the Lord is here
The evidence is all around
That the spirit of the Lord is here

Overflow in this place
Fill our hearts with your love
Your love surrounds us
You’re the reason we came
To encounter your love
Your love surrounds us

Spirit of God fall fresh on us
We need your presence
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
Here as in heaven

A miracle can happen now
For the spirit of the Lord is here
The evidence is all around
That the spirit of the Lord is here

Jesus, thank you so much for your love.  Thank you that you love me.  Thank you that we don’t have to clean ourselves up to come to you.  Thank you that you wait for us with open arms.  That you see us and know us.  That you make us better.  Thank you that you walk with us.  That you aren’t a statue on the wall but you’re alive right now and walking amongst us.  Thank you that your blood was shed for me, that I’m forgiven.  Thank you that the devil has to flee at your name.  Thank you that you are the one true God and that all names bow before you.  Thank you for turning heartbreak to joy and ugly to beautiful. That you come in and do what only you can do.  Thank you that through you, we are victorious.  That chains are broken and we can get to the other side. Amen.

PaW, Moses and Restoration

25 Jan

So it’s Monday, and my blog is regarding something that happened yesterday.  I’m so impressed with myself for actually sitting down within 24 hours of being inspired. (Patting myself on the back right now.)  But before I get started let me just say, I have been binge listening to the Happy Hour podcast by Jamie Ivey.  The premise is her talking with friends on topics ranging from adoption and God’s calling on your life to 90s heart throbs and eyelash extensions. You should listen to it.  You will be happy.  You’re welcome!

Ok, back to Sunday.  Praise and Worship or PaW because I’m too lazy to type it out.  I LOVE PaW. I listen to my “Bethel” station on Pandora pretty much all day long; yes it is playing right now.  Bethel means “the house of God.”  I love this so much I’m trying (unsuccessfully might I add) to convince my husband if our baby is a girl, this NEEDS to be her name.  We have a boy’s name, but not a girl’s name.  This makes for fun conversations at night when we’re both exhausted and delirious.

Dang it, rabbit trail.  Ok, back to Sunday.  I love PaW.  I love singing my heart out about how good God is.  My husband plays bass on the PaW team at our church so I know all the songs and, let me tell you, I feel like such a groupie when they do a new song and no one knows the words…but I do!

I’m gonna be honest here.  Lots of times, even though I’m singing, my mind is wondering.  I look around at other people and see them completely engrossed in it and I’m totally jealous.  I love seeing people crying during PaW because I know God is doing something miraculous in them.  Healing something that needs to be healed, confirming something that needs confirmation, reminding them that He is just and faithful and love.

I’m not one of those that just stands still with arms crossed during PaW.  Nope.  I’m a mover and a shaker and my hands are raised.  Well usually one is and the other is moving like Mariah Carey’s or Christina Aguilera’s.  My husband makes fun of me and calls this my signature move. Sunday my arms got tired and I randomly thought I wish I was Moses and people were here to hold my arms up.  If you’ve been raised in the church you know what I’m talking about. If not, let me explain:

Moses was the leader of the Israelites and they were at battle.  As long as Moses’ hands were raised they were winning, but when he got tired and lowed his hands, they were loosing.  So 2 guys found a stone for him to sit on and held his arms up so that his hands were steady till sunset. (My very basic interpretation of Exodus 17:8-16)  As I said earlier, my mind wanders during PaW so for it to wander to something biblical was quite a shock to me! lol

I’ve heard sermons on this passage about supporting our leaders.  About how our leaders need us just as much as we need them.  We need to rally around them and support them and lift them up in prayer.  I FULLY agree with this.  I love my pastors and can’t imagine doing life without them and my husband and I support them whenever we can.

However; I also think there is a second point in this passage.  That we need to be PaWing God AT.ALL.TIMES.  When we are in the thick of it and battling for our lives.  When we are too tired to go on.  When we don’t see the point of going on.  When we feel heartbroken and alone.  When even breathing is a struggle.

When we are in this place of brokenness, that’s when God is doing what He does best; restoring! The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirt is crushed.  (Psalm 34:18.)  (You can stand on this verse.  It’s a promise from God and God is truth and doesn’t lie!) When we are in tune with God and allow Him in, we are forever changed.  Not only will God draw near to us, He will send others to walk through this hell with us.  I say this, but I personally struggle with it.  When I’m in the thick of it, I don’t want people to feel sorry for me.  I don’t want them to quote me scripture; I want them to acknowledge this sucks and that I’ll get through it.  When my mom died, I made my husband go to work that day because I knew he wanted to comfort me but all I wanted to do was clean my floor.  Yes, I’m horrible person and I need Jesus.  I.KNOW.THIS.AND.CLAIM.IT.

Anyway…if you’re in the thick of it, I hope you know you are not alone.  Depression, sickness, anxiety, addiction, death, fear and doubt have no place in God’s presence! I pray you find rest and peace.  It sucks but you will get through it!!

Thanks for allowing me to share my world with you…welcome to my brain!

 

Jammies With Feet

4 Jan

So as most of my readers know, I’m currently pregnant with my 3rd child.  I could go on and on about all the great things being a mom entails like unconditional love and good night kisses.  But I’m gonna be honest, my 2 favorite things are pinching dimply baby booties and jammies with feet.  We have a bath time routine of walking around the house and everyone pinches Willow’s sweet 20 month old booty.  The other day my husband was taking a shower and Willow was walking around the house looking for him and got sad when I put her in the bath without a booty pinch from her papa.

Jammies with feet are on a whole ‘nother level.  There is nothing cuter than a little girl walking around in fuzzy jammies with little monkey ears on her toes.  (I made up a song about jammies with feet, this proves my love.) But they have to be the kind with zippers.  The button up ones are the Devil.  Who ever decided it was a good idea to make a sleep deprived parent button up 15 buttons at 3am only to find the last button doesn’t match up will have a lot to answer for on judgement day.  I was changing Willow’s diaper and found a Christmas ornament caught in the foot and my husband found a few pens down there as well.  I never thought about it but I guess jammies with feet make the perfect place to stash things.

JWF

That got me thinking, aren’t we just like those darn jammies.  We walk around looking all cute and put together but deep down we’re hiding things.

We want you to think your words don’t phase us, but deep down they’re killing us. We want you to think we are totally secure, qualified enough, put together enough, organized enough and in the perfect marriage.  We want you to think our kids are the best, our house is always this clean and we never burn the meatloaf.

No one is all of these things so why do we try?  Why do we put so much effort into being what we’re not?  Why do we care so much about what others think of us?

I know it’s hard not to let outside voices in but the truth is, there is only one voice that matters.  God’s. God says you are loved. Beautiful. Seen. Known. Matter. Heard. Holy. Righteous. Strong. Brave. The son or daughter of a heavenly king. Forgiven. Redeemed…YOU.ARE.ENOUGH.

So many things are thrown at us daily, fighting for our attention.  We need to learn what to focus on.  We need to learn the voice of truth.  We need to learn how to love ourselves and quit killing ourselves trying to be something we’re not.  Let’s quit being jammies with feet.

Thanks for allowing me to share my world with you…welcome to my brain.

 

FB is a Bunch of Crap

26 Dec

So, it’s the day after Christmas.  Or as so many of you have posted on FB CHRISTmas.  I’m sorry, but putting “CHRIST” in all caps bugs me.  All your other pictures and posts (which reflect how  you live) have nothing to do with living for Jesus, but yet when Christmas rolls around you get all Jesuslike.  No wonder so many people want nothing to do with church, we’re just a bunch of hypocrites.  This is not the purpose of this blog so I better jump off my soapbox…

I saw a video on FB the other day of some AMAZING looking waffles.  My husband saw it too and we decided that’s what we wanted for Christmas morning breakfast.  The video shows a puff pastry placed on the waffle maker, then stuffed with cheese and ham, then puff pastry folded on top and wha-la, you have a gorgeous, stuffed waffle.  I decided to kick it up a notch and add a fried egg on top.  Can you say genius?

breakfast 1

I’m assuming the video was filmed multiple times to make it look that easy-peasy. The truth is the puff pastry wasn’t big enough and ALL the cheese melted out.  The waffle was good but dry so I had to add syrup to add moisture.  Please note the melted cheese oozing out, all the smoke, the mess in the background and the awesomely annoyed look on my 8yo’s face.

breakfast 2

Isn’t this just like life?  We post on social media, snippets of our life.  The snippets that make us look good, like we have it all together, like our life is WAY.BETTER.THAN.YOURS. (That would be the first pic to make you jealous of our breakfast.)  And most of us fall for it.  We look at our “friends” and think their spouse is just so perfect…their kids are perfectly trained (people with kids, we all know their behavior is totally viewed as a direct reflection of us.)  Their house/car/stuff is nicer than mine which means they make more money than me so they must be happier then I am.

The truth is we all fall short; we all #fail and most times we don’t want others to know about it. Yes, I did post the second pic on FB.  I do post my highs but I also post my lows.  I believe we all live messy lives and the more honest we are about them, the better everyone would be.  I believe if we would all quit pretending to be something we’re not, like perfect, and  start living the awesomely jacked-up lives we have, we’d actually be happier and therefore less judgmental.

Let me challenge you for 2016: start being more honest with yourself.  It will be hard at first, but I guarantee it will be life changing!

Thanks for allowing me to share my world with you..welcome to my brain.

Stop Complaining and Start Doing

18 Nov

I’ve been sitting on this blog for a while.  Actually I’ve been stewing on it for a while, so for my sanity, I’ve carved out some time to sit and type.

I LOVE Starbucks! I spend way too  much money there but luckily my addiction has been funded by gift cards from family and friends, so keep them coming, thanks!  I could care less that the cups this year don’t say Merry Christmas. The stink that people are making about this blows  my mind.  If you want your cup to say Merry Christmas write it on there yourself.  #ProblemSolved

Why are Christians expecting a non-Christian company to act like a Christian company?  Why are people so quick to complain and all of a sudden start acting all holy?  I bet most of you didn’t even care that the cup said Merry Christmas, but as soon as it didn’t, all hell broke loose.  My opinion, and this is harsh, is because it’s easier to complain and do nothing than to actually get out there and do something.  Something that matters.

Lets stop complaining and start loving.  Lets stop complaining about the government and how politicians are “taking God out of everything” and lets start living like God is part of us.  I don’t care if schools aren’t allowed to start football games with a public prayer.  The majority of the people at the foot ball games aren’t praying anyway, they’re planning the celebratory after party.  Politicians can’t keep you from praying.  If you take time to read your Bible, worship God, learn from Jesus and actually do what He says, politicians can’t stop you.  They can’t take Jesus out of your heart.  Lets stop looking towards the White House to spiritually lead this country; lets look towards Jesus.

All of you people out there “publicly making a stand on FaceBook” about this red cup issue, politics, gays, gun control or whatever, do you even care that last year in the state of Texas over 30,000 kids were placed in Foster Care?  Do you care that over 27 million people are enslaved in human trafficking? Do you care that over 453,000 kids die each year due to malaria and that malaria is totally preventable?  If you do, I am grateful for your heart.  But if you don’t, lets open our eyes to things of this world that actually matter, like people.

Lets stop living like the Pharisees who were so quick to say the right prayers in public but were secretly plotting to kill Jesus.  Lets quit being quick to point out everyone else’s indiscretions and ignore our own.  Lets start living like Jesus.  Jesus saved the world.  He did this NOT FROM A GOLDEN, CUSHY THRONE, He did it from the trenches loving the leper, the prostitute, the tax collector, the children, the man who betrayed Him and the men who killed Him.

80% of 18-22 year olds leave the church once they are out of their parent’s house.  Lets stop teaching our kids to go to church because “that is the rule if you live under this roof.”  Instead, lets fall in love with Jesus so our kids see Jesus in action and they fall in love with Him too.  Lets show our kids how to love unconditionally.  Let our kids see us feed and cloth the homeless instead of making snide comments and ignoring them.  Let our kids see us sponsoring children in third world countries instead of ignoring them because they are on the other side of the world.  Let our kids see us spending our money on clothes, diapers and toys for the local women and children’s shelter instead of wasting that money on the new iProduct.

If we want this country to change it starts with us.  Lets not prove we are Christians by walking around in our Mercy Me t-shirts saying Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays and then getting into our car with the fish sticker on the back.  Instead, lets invite Jesus into our hearts and allow Him to lead our actions.  Lets channel all our righteous anger towards making lives better that way we are too busy to complain.

Ok, getting off my soap box now.

Thanks for allowing me to share my world with you…welcome to my  brain.