Tag Archives: Kids

Grab a Bottle

28 Dec

I have a 9 year old daughter.  She makes me a better person. I thank God every night that he chose me to be her mom, that I get to love her and kiss her anytime I want (If you see the cute little boy from Sweet Home Alabama, you are my people!) I pray constantly that she’ll grow into a Godly woman. She has the sweetest heart and I look at her and I’m in awe.

Then I walk into her room and all the warm fuzzies are gone!  Not just gone, but dead, buried under a 2 foot pile of dog poo.  This room is my demise.  I try to ignore it as long as I can and suppress my feelings, but it never lasts.  Inevitably, I crack.  Then I go into a throwing out rage.  My daughter and I fight.  EVERYTHING.IS.SPECIAL.  Toys that she has completely forgotten about all of a sudden become the world’s greatest toy and she will tell me who gave it to her and all why her life will be utterly destroyed if I chunk it. Things are said, feelings are hurt and tears are shed. It gets ugly and I’m not proud of myself in these moments.

We got her a bunk bed for Christmas.  In order for it to fit, we had to get rid of her 3 foot tall Barbie house.  Barbie can’t be homeless so getting rid of her house means getting rid of her (all 15 of them) and her million outfits and shoes and purses and car, and if you can’t tell, I hate Barbie.  I hate everything about her and the thought of removing all of it from our house made we way happier than it should.

But I didn’t want to fight with my 9 year old and I was dreading the meltdown that was in my very near future.  I swear the Holy Spirit spoke to me.  He said “Katie, sweet and beautiful Katie with whom I am pleased.  Pour yourself a glass of wine, actually, forget the glass and grab the bottle.  Disregard the fact that it’s only 8:46 in the morning.  Let her binge watch Netflix and get in that room.”

Yall, when the Holy Spirit speaks, YOU LISTEN! I was me versus the closet.  I had God on my side so I knew I would be victorious. I shut the door so she could not enter.  The rule was she couldn’t ask me what I threw away.  Out of a whole pile, she only busted me on 1 toy, so I gave it back.

closet

Her room is so cozy, she has a reading corner and Christmas lights.  In one afternoon, it transformed from little girl’s to a big girl’s room.  She aged before my eyes.  My baby is growing is up.  I remember the day she was born, her first steps, and her first day of pre-K.  Now she gets things for me when I’m too lazy to walk across the entire grocery store and she’s on a dance team with teen agers.  She’s big, but not too big to be dropped off at her classroom door or snuggle every night at bed time.  She’s growing up and I can’t do anything about that, but for now, I’ll just hang on to her while I’m still cool.

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Hey Mom Guilt, You’re Dumb

6 Dec

When I was young, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but I always knew it would be something in the Business field. My last 3 jobs were the assistant to a CEO, assistant to a President and an assistant to a VP.  I was the go-to person.  The one expected to have all the answers and if I didn’t, I needed to find them yesterday.

At this point, I had 1 daughter. Even tho I loved working, I felt guilty every time I dropped her off in the morning. I felt guilty when I wasn’t able to be at all her school events.  And I felt guilty when I didn’t make special, homemade treats for her classmates on her birthday.

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When I had my second daughter I quit my job to be a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM.)

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I was now able to do all those things that made me feel guilty for missing so I should have been happy right??  Nope!! I went through a major identity crisis and kinda went crazy.  I felt guilty because I wasn’t working and “contributing” to the family.  I found my identity in making money. Once that was taken away from me, I didn’t know who I was.  I felt like a liability to our family instead of an asset.  (The sad thing is this was the second time I went through this not making money identity crisis thing. But that is for a different blog on another day.)

I have 3 daughters now and I won’t say I’m over the crazy, I’m a hot mess and that will never change, but I’m over the identity crisis.

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I am a SAHM. I have food smeared on my shirt, pick up toys, vacuum the floors, do the dishes, the laundry, constantly tell a toddler “stop that” and change 1 million diapers every day.  Right now, my place is in the home and I’m, ok with that. I love that I stay home.  I’m fortunate my husband works hard so I can.

We went grocery shopping today.  The toddler threw a fit because I wouldn’t let her have the “brown pretzels” or walk around barefoot and the baby puked everywhere.  Oh well. I just had to deal with it and move on.  We all survived, therefore I’ll call this grocery store experience a success!

Mammas, listen to me.

Let go of the mom guilt that creeps up and realize YOU.ARE.AWESOME!!!  No matter where you find yourself BE YOU!  You are setting an example for the little people watching you and your actions teach more than your words. If you are a SAHM, rock it! You’re doing the hard work that no one sees but all appreciate.  If you’re a working mom, rock it! You’re showing your kids responsibility and work ethic.

Formula vs. breast milk.  Cloth diapers vs. disposables. Fresh green beans vs. canned. Organic vs. non organic. Day care vs. nanny. Public school vs. homeschool.  Frozen vs. homemade lasagna.  The list goes on and on…

Your life doesn’t have to look like anybody elses so don’t let their opinions get to you.   It’s your life so live it.  Love your babies to the best of your ability.  Take a deep breath.  It’s all gonna be ok.

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So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Cor 10:31.

Jammies With Feet

4 Jan

So as most of my readers know, I’m currently pregnant with my 3rd child.  I could go on and on about all the great things being a mom entails like unconditional love and good night kisses.  But I’m gonna be honest, my 2 favorite things are pinching dimply baby booties and jammies with feet.  We have a bath time routine of walking around the house and everyone pinches Willow’s sweet 20 month old booty.  The other day my husband was taking a shower and Willow was walking around the house looking for him and got sad when I put her in the bath without a booty pinch from her papa.

Jammies with feet are on a whole ‘nother level.  There is nothing cuter than a little girl walking around in fuzzy jammies with little monkey ears on her toes.  (I made up a song about jammies with feet, this proves my love.) But they have to be the kind with zippers.  The button up ones are the Devil.  Who ever decided it was a good idea to make a sleep deprived parent button up 15 buttons at 3am only to find the last button doesn’t match up will have a lot to answer for on judgement day.  I was changing Willow’s diaper and found a Christmas ornament caught in the foot and my husband found a few pens down there as well.  I never thought about it but I guess jammies with feet make the perfect place to stash things.

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That got me thinking, aren’t we just like those darn jammies.  We walk around looking all cute and put together but deep down we’re hiding things.

We want you to think your words don’t phase us, but deep down they’re killing us. We want you to think we are totally secure, qualified enough, put together enough, organized enough and in the perfect marriage.  We want you to think our kids are the best, our house is always this clean and we never burn the meatloaf.

No one is all of these things so why do we try?  Why do we put so much effort into being what we’re not?  Why do we care so much about what others think of us?

I know it’s hard not to let outside voices in but the truth is, there is only one voice that matters.  God’s. God says you are loved. Beautiful. Seen. Known. Matter. Heard. Holy. Righteous. Strong. Brave. The son or daughter of a heavenly king. Forgiven. Redeemed…YOU.ARE.ENOUGH.

So many things are thrown at us daily, fighting for our attention.  We need to learn what to focus on.  We need to learn the voice of truth.  We need to learn how to love ourselves and quit killing ourselves trying to be something we’re not.  Let’s quit being jammies with feet.

Thanks for allowing me to share my world with you…welcome to my brain.

 

FB is a Bunch of Crap

26 Dec

So, it’s the day after Christmas.  Or as so many of you have posted on FB CHRISTmas.  I’m sorry, but putting “CHRIST” in all caps bugs me.  All your other pictures and posts (which reflect how  you live) have nothing to do with living for Jesus, but yet when Christmas rolls around you get all Jesuslike.  No wonder so many people want nothing to do with church, we’re just a bunch of hypocrites.  This is not the purpose of this blog so I better jump off my soapbox…

I saw a video on FB the other day of some AMAZING looking waffles.  My husband saw it too and we decided that’s what we wanted for Christmas morning breakfast.  The video shows a puff pastry placed on the waffle maker, then stuffed with cheese and ham, then puff pastry folded on top and wha-la, you have a gorgeous, stuffed waffle.  I decided to kick it up a notch and add a fried egg on top.  Can you say genius?

breakfast 1

I’m assuming the video was filmed multiple times to make it look that easy-peasy. The truth is the puff pastry wasn’t big enough and ALL the cheese melted out.  The waffle was good but dry so I had to add syrup to add moisture.  Please note the melted cheese oozing out, all the smoke, the mess in the background and the awesomely annoyed look on my 8yo’s face.

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Isn’t this just like life?  We post on social media, snippets of our life.  The snippets that make us look good, like we have it all together, like our life is WAY.BETTER.THAN.YOURS. (That would be the first pic to make you jealous of our breakfast.)  And most of us fall for it.  We look at our “friends” and think their spouse is just so perfect…their kids are perfectly trained (people with kids, we all know their behavior is totally viewed as a direct reflection of us.)  Their house/car/stuff is nicer than mine which means they make more money than me so they must be happier then I am.

The truth is we all fall short; we all #fail and most times we don’t want others to know about it. Yes, I did post the second pic on FB.  I do post my highs but I also post my lows.  I believe we all live messy lives and the more honest we are about them, the better everyone would be.  I believe if we would all quit pretending to be something we’re not, like perfect, and  start living the awesomely jacked-up lives we have, we’d actually be happier and therefore less judgmental.

Let me challenge you for 2016: start being more honest with yourself.  It will be hard at first, but I guarantee it will be life changing!

Thanks for allowing me to share my world with you..welcome to my brain.

Unplug

12 Aug

We have become a society enslaved to technology and social media, therefore, I declare it’s time to unplug!

Yes, I realize you are reading this on a PC, laptop, a phone or some sort of iThingy, so please wait till you’re done reading to go unplugged. I am guilty of this so this isn’t a blog where I point my finger at everyone else and tell you how bad you are. No, I am guilty as well.

Summer vacation is over in 2 weeks (let me tell you this Stay Home Mom is eagerly counting down the days till first day of school.) My 7.5 year old daughter has been reading her booty off and winning prizes at the local library. Her last prize was a coupon for a free kid’s meal at, well I’m not sure I can say the name. Lets just say they have the BEST Southwestern Egg-rolls and back in 2002 N’Sync did a commercial singing about baby back ribs…you’re welcome. 😉

It’s been a while since we ate there and I was shocked to see they had touch screens on the table to read the menu and pay your bill. My daughter noticed they had games for $.99 on there as well. She asked if she could play one. Sorry sweetie, no. But I can’t just say no. I had to give her a 5 minute lecture about how that’s one of the problems with our society today. People are addicted to technology and we can’t even sit and eat with our family without have some kind of device in our hand stealing our attention. I told her dinner is a perfect time for us all to sit together and talk. Then my husband chimed in and told her “you’re welcome for having such good parents that love you and want to talk to you.” She just looked at me like, actually she wasn’t looking at me, she was blankly staring at something over my head.

I looked around at several of the tables and kids were playing on the touch screen and parents were on their own phones and no one was talking. No sharing of stories. No laughing. No pouring out of one’s soul. No dreaming for the future. Nothing. This made me sad. Sad for the kids who were missing out on learning from their parents. Sad for the parents missing out on what’s going on in their teen-age daughter’s life.

Now, I’m gonna be honest right now. We also had our 15 month old daughter who was being vocal in a not so cute way and I would have GLADLY paid someone $.99 to come and entertain her.

I realize the appeal of technology. I understand that technology and quiet kids go hand in hand. I know that when I allow my daughter to play games on my phone I have 30 minutes of quiet time. That’s right, I said my phone. She doesn’t have a phone or a Kindle or an iPad of her own and I limit her time playing games on mine.

I’m not judging you as a parent if your kids have their own technological devices. There is nothing wrong with that. All I’m saying is lets unplug for a while. Parents, sit down and talk with your kids. Ask them how their day was and when they say “good” don’t just take that as an acceptable answer. Ask them why it was good. Ask them open ended questions and allow them to ask you questions. Kids are like a sponge and when you pour time into them, they respond.

Happy talking!

Thanks for allowing me to share my world with you…welcome to my brain!

Pat Yourself on the Back

3 Jun

Today I was texting my pastor (well, he’s more than a pastor, he’s my friend, mentor, husband to a dear friend, father to amazing kids, Jesus lover and world changer)…anyway…I gave him a compliment for working so hard on our church’s new website.  The funny thing is, he wasn’t looking for a compliment and almost didn’t take it.  Sometimes compliments catch us by surprise.  Sometimes we don’t think we deserve them.  Sometimes we desperately crave one but no one is there to offer one.

If you don’t know this about me, I’m a Stay Home Mom.  I went into labor at work (was in denial so I drove myself to the hospital only to find out I was dilated to a 6) and never returned after my maternity leave.  It wasn’t planned it just happened.

I spend my days with a 13 month old while the big one’s at school (Summer Break starts in 2 days so I’m soaking in my last 48 hours of 1 child at my heels all day long.)  It only took a year, but I feel like I finally got this stay home mom thing down. The baby sleeps through the night now (angels sing hallelujah) which is a game changer and I can take on the world!  I can breath again, I finally stopped be a sleep-deprived-crank-monkey and started being silly again.  And now we’re gonna mess it up because we’re trying for another baby.

Today is Wednesday and Wednesday nights are hectic.  I rush home after the big one gets out of dance practice and throw something on the stove for dinner, we scarf it down then my husband runs out the door for worship practice.  Well, I planned ahead today.  I’m making Sloppy Joes for dinner; fancy, I know.  It’s 10 am I just chopped the onion, bell pepper and mushrooms because I knew I wouldn’t have time tonight.  I put the container of veggies in the fridge and stood there smiling feeling pretty proud of myself…this must be what Edmund Hillary felt like after conquering Mt Everest!

I look around and no one is here to join in my celebratory dance.  No one is here to say good job Katie or give me a hi-five.  No one is here to see that I just saved me 15 minutes of precious time in dinner preparation.  This is my company right now, and I’m not about to wake that sleeping giant:

Willow

Dear mamma out there about to pull your hair out.  I know you have days where you feel unnoticed or unappreciated. I know you have days where you spend all day taking care of a young child, or maybe your day is spent taking care of an elderly parent, and you just feel unseen.  I know, I have days like that too.

The truth is you are seen.  You are noticed.  YOU.ARE.LOVED.  You are the daughter of a heavenly king and He sees everything you do.  He created the awe inspiring beauty of the stars down to the subtle beauty of a daisy and He created you.  He knew you from the beginning of time and has loved you ever since!

God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.  I’m an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.  You know when I leave and when I get back; I’m never out of your sight.  You know everything I’m going to say before I start the first sentence.  I look behind me and you’re there, then up ahead and you’re there, too – your reassuring presence, coming and going.  This is too much, too wonderful – I can’t take it all in!  Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your sight?  If I climb to the sky, you’re there! If I go underground, you’re there!  If I flew on morning’s wings to the far western horizon, You’d find me in a minute – you’re already there waiting!  Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I’m immersed in the light!”  It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.  Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb.  I thank you, High God – you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration – what a creation!  You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something.  Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.  Your thoughts – how rare, how beautiful! God, I’ll never comprehend them!  I couldn’t even begin to count them – any more than I could count the sand of the sea. Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you! – Psalm 139:1-18 The Message
All those little things you do today that will go unnoticed, they’re noticed.  Sometimes we get too busy to point them out or say thank you so I’m gonna say it.  Mamma, thank you for all you do, go ahead and pat your self on the back, you deserve it!  Tonight, when you tuck a sweet one in and steel one last kiss and hear a sleepily whispered “I love you,” breathe that moment in.  You worked hard today.  You loved and that’s what matters.
Thanks for allowing me to share my world with you…welcome to my brain.

Stop Thinking!

28 May

Me: “Good thing you don’t have homework tonight; you’ll need to get ready for dance as soon as you get home from school.”

7 year old daughter, Danica: “Ugh grrrr, hmmm”

Me: “Um, is there a werewolf in the back seat?”

Danica: “No…”

Me: “Ok, do you want to tell me why you’re growling?”

Danica: “The dance recital is coming up and I’m afraid I’ll mess up.”

Me: “Oh baby, I mess up all the time.”

Danica: “I know.”

Me: “Thanks for that. The only perfect person who ever walked this earth was whom?”

Danica: “Jesus.”

This happened a few days ago and I can’t stop thinking about it.  Did I handle it correctly?  How do I validate her feelings while trying to calm her fears?  How do I tell her it’s normal to be scared yet reassure her everything will be ok?  How do I turn this everyday conversation into a meaningful, heartfelt one?

Well first, I stop thinking because I can think myself into a headache.  And when I have a headache I want a Coke, and I don’t need a Coke, so stop thinking Katie!

All I can do is listen.  I’m great listener but a not so good calmer.  My first response it to say “calm down killer.  In the grand scheme of life your dance recital won’t make one bit of difference.”  This is usually when my husband steps in and reminds me that in her 7 year old world, this isn’t just a big deal, it’s the only deal.  I try to focus on the big picture so much that I forget the small moments matter because they make up the big picture.

I hope I’m not the only mamma out there struggling with this.  I hope I’m not the only one who worries that I trample over her feelings, that I give bad advice or that I gave advice when all she wanted was a hug.  I tell her “when life gets hard, shake your booty.”  I try so hard to make her tough that I forget she’s 7 and just wants me to wipe her tears and kiss her elbow.

To all the mammas out there (and the papas, I know a few of you read my blog) you’re doing a great job!  Stop thinking and just be.  Be the listener, the advice giver and the hugger.  If you mess up, be the parent that says you’re sorry.  Relax and just breathe; your kids think you’re way better than you think you are.

Thanks for allowing me to share my world with you…welcome to my brain.