Tag Archives: Bethel Music

PaW, Moses and Restoration

25 Jan

So it’s Monday, and my blog is regarding something that happened yesterday.  I’m so impressed with myself for actually sitting down within 24 hours of being inspired. (Patting myself on the back right now.)  But before I get started let me just say, I have been binge listening to the Happy Hour podcast by Jamie Ivey.  The premise is her talking with friends on topics ranging from adoption and God’s calling on your life to 90s heart throbs and eyelash extensions. You should listen to it.  You will be happy.  You’re welcome!

Ok, back to Sunday.  Praise and Worship or PaW because I’m too lazy to type it out.  I LOVE PaW. I listen to my “Bethel” station on Pandora pretty much all day long; yes it is playing right now.  Bethel means “the house of God.”  I love this so much I’m trying (unsuccessfully might I add) to convince my husband if our baby is a girl, this NEEDS to be her name.  We have a boy’s name, but not a girl’s name.  This makes for fun conversations at night when we’re both exhausted and delirious.

Dang it, rabbit trail.  Ok, back to Sunday.  I love PaW.  I love singing my heart out about how good God is.  My husband plays bass on the PaW team at our church so I know all the songs and, let me tell you, I feel like such a groupie when they do a new song and no one knows the words…but I do!

I’m gonna be honest here.  Lots of times, even though I’m singing, my mind is wondering.  I look around at other people and see them completely engrossed in it and I’m totally jealous.  I love seeing people crying during PaW because I know God is doing something miraculous in them.  Healing something that needs to be healed, confirming something that needs confirmation, reminding them that He is just and faithful and love.

I’m not one of those that just stands still with arms crossed during PaW.  Nope.  I’m a mover and a shaker and my hands are raised.  Well usually one is and the other is moving like Mariah Carey’s or Christina Aguilera’s.  My husband makes fun of me and calls this my signature move. Sunday my arms got tired and I randomly thought I wish I was Moses and people were here to hold my arms up.  If you’ve been raised in the church you know what I’m talking about. If not, let me explain:

Moses was the leader of the Israelites and they were at battle.  As long as Moses’ hands were raised they were winning, but when he got tired and lowed his hands, they were loosing.  So 2 guys found a stone for him to sit on and held his arms up so that his hands were steady till sunset. (My very basic interpretation of Exodus 17:8-16)  As I said earlier, my mind wanders during PaW so for it to wander to something biblical was quite a shock to me! lol

I’ve heard sermons on this passage about supporting our leaders.  About how our leaders need us just as much as we need them.  We need to rally around them and support them and lift them up in prayer.  I FULLY agree with this.  I love my pastors and can’t imagine doing life without them and my husband and I support them whenever we can.

However; I also think there is a second point in this passage.  That we need to be PaWing God AT.ALL.TIMES.  When we are in the thick of it and battling for our lives.  When we are too tired to go on.  When we don’t see the point of going on.  When we feel heartbroken and alone.  When even breathing is a struggle.

When we are in this place of brokenness, that’s when God is doing what He does best; restoring! The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirt is crushed.  (Psalm 34:18.)  (You can stand on this verse.  It’s a promise from God and God is truth and doesn’t lie!) When we are in tune with God and allow Him in, we are forever changed.  Not only will God draw near to us, He will send others to walk through this hell with us.  I say this, but I personally struggle with it.  When I’m in the thick of it, I don’t want people to feel sorry for me.  I don’t want them to quote me scripture; I want them to acknowledge this sucks and that I’ll get through it.  When my mom died, I made my husband go to work that day because I knew he wanted to comfort me but all I wanted to do was clean my floor.  Yes, I’m horrible person and I need Jesus.  I.KNOW.THIS.AND.CLAIM.IT.

Anyway…if you’re in the thick of it, I hope you know you are not alone.  Depression, sickness, anxiety, addiction, death, fear and doubt have no place in God’s presence! I pray you find rest and peace.  It sucks but you will get through it!!

Thanks for allowing me to share my world with you…welcome to my brain!

 

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It’s Time to be Brave!

23 Sep

I’m laying on my couch, alone, in the dark, wrapped up in a super plush, awesome blanket.  My 18 month old is sleeping and I NEED a nap.  But I can’t sleep.  As much as I want too, as much as I know a nap will prevent me from being cranky tonight, I feel a tug in my heart to get up and grab the computer and type.

I’m currently reading Let’s All Be Brave, Living A Life With Everything You Have by Annie Downs. (OMG!  As I googled things to link to her name, I came across this.  Even after staring at her picture on the back cover, I didn’t realize I know her.  Well, I don’t actually know her but I feel like I do.  I’ve been listening to her for months while doing the IF Equip daily devotions.  Now I love her even more!) READ.THIS.BOOK!  Stop what you are doing right now, after you finish reading my blog of course, and head to Half Priced Books, or wherever you like to pay full price for books, and buy a copy!!!

We have a notion that being brave requires us to do big things.  Like sell your home, give everything you own to the poor and move to a 3rd world country. Yes, that is brave, but is it for everyone?  Absolutely not!  Roaches cause me to cry, sweat, cuss and have a heart rate that is deadly for my body.  I need to live in a country where I can run like a mad woman and empty a whole can of RAID on one bug.

I don’t feel brave.  Sure, I’ve had brave moments but that’s all…moments.  Most of the time I allow a lie to creep into my head and I dwell on it till I’m crying over this created situation and completely living in fear.  I’m very open about fear.  I’ve blogged about it, cussed about it, cried about it, laughed about it, preached about it, done women’s events about it.  I even have a tattoo on my forearm to look at everyday to remind me that Jesus is right beside me and to believe Him and not the lie.  Because that’s all fear is, a lie that we have started to believe.  We have a choice, do we believe the lie or the truth.  It seems so simple yet it is so hard.

I haven’t completely kicked fear’s butt, but I remember the day I had enough. The day I threw the first punch.

I was at a women’s conference and Lisa Harper did a bravery alter call.  I knew she was talking to me, but to answer an alter call, takes courage, an act of bravery which is exactly what I was lacking at that moment of my life.  (If you’ve ever answered an alter call, you know what I mean!)  I found it ironic, asking fearful women to walk up to the alter, IN FRONT OF EVERYONE, to receive prayer on bravery.  I knew I had to walk up but my feet were glued to the floor.  I was right next to my pastor’s wife, my friend, my mentor, the woman that reminds me to breath. She thought I was brave.  My husband and I quit jobs, sold our house, and moved to the big city to help plant a church with her and her husband, along with a few other crazy couples!  That’s brave ya’ll!

But I can’t consider myself brave because I’ve done brave things.  I was currently living a life wrapped in fear.  I was a fake, my facade of bravery had finally crashed down all around me (and it had the audacity to do it in public not in the nice private comfort of my own home.  How Rude!)  I had no choice but to walk up to the front.

Being brave isn’t doing big things.  It’s what you do everyday.  It’s facing sickness head on.  It’s daily walking into a job that you know isn’t your dream job but it’s where you are now.  It’s falling in love.  It’s waking up and getting out of bed.  It’s saying yes to certain things and no to others. It’s admitting you’re wrong and saying please forgive me.  It’s walking away from something bad for you.  It’s closing a door and daring to imagine you life differently.  It’s writing that check.  It’s getting on that plane.

You know what your next step of bravery looks like.  You know what you have to do.  Do it my friend!  Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or discouraged.  For the Lord, your God, will be with you where ever you go. Joshua 1:9 Do it and have confidence in yourself and the talents God gave you.

If you need help being brave today, listen to No Longer Slaves by Bethel.  Now that you’re feeling fiesty listen to It Is Well. Have the courage to admit that even tho your life may not look like what you thought it would, it is well and you have trust that you are exactly where God has you and HE.IS.WITH.YOU.   When Jesus died on the cross and the veil was torn, in THAT moment, we gained direct access to Him.  That His presences hovers over us and give us boldness.

Thanks for allowing me to share my world with you…welcome to my brain.