So it’s Monday, and my blog is regarding something that happened yesterday. I’m so impressed with myself for actually sitting down within 24 hours of being inspired. (Patting myself on the back right now.) But before I get started let me just say, I have been binge listening to the Happy Hour podcast by Jamie Ivey. The premise is her talking with friends on topics ranging from adoption and God’s calling on your life to 90s heart throbs and eyelash extensions. You should listen to it. You will be happy. You’re welcome!
Ok, back to Sunday. Praise and Worship or PaW because I’m too lazy to type it out. I LOVE PaW. I listen to my “Bethel” station on Pandora pretty much all day long; yes it is playing right now. Bethel means “the house of God.” I love this so much I’m trying (unsuccessfully might I add) to convince my husband if our baby is a girl, this NEEDS to be her name. We have a boy’s name, but not a girl’s name. This makes for fun conversations at night when we’re both exhausted and delirious.
Dang it, rabbit trail. Ok, back to Sunday. I love PaW. I love singing my heart out about how good God is. My husband plays bass on the PaW team at our church so I know all the songs and, let me tell you, I feel like such a groupie when they do a new song and no one knows the words…but I do!
I’m gonna be honest here. Lots of times, even though I’m singing, my mind is wondering. I look around at other people and see them completely engrossed in it and I’m totally jealous. I love seeing people crying during PaW because I know God is doing something miraculous in them. Healing something that needs to be healed, confirming something that needs confirmation, reminding them that He is just and faithful and love.
I’m not one of those that just stands still with arms crossed during PaW. Nope. I’m a mover and a shaker and my hands are raised. Well usually one is and the other is moving like Mariah Carey’s or Christina Aguilera’s. My husband makes fun of me and calls this my signature move. Sunday my arms got tired and I randomly thought I wish I was Moses and people were here to hold my arms up. If you’ve been raised in the church you know what I’m talking about. If not, let me explain:
Moses was the leader of the Israelites and they were at battle. As long as Moses’ hands were raised they were winning, but when he got tired and lowed his hands, they were loosing. So 2 guys found a stone for him to sit on and held his arms up so that his hands were steady till sunset. (My very basic interpretation of Exodus 17:8-16) As I said earlier, my mind wanders during PaW so for it to wander to something biblical was quite a shock to me! lol
I’ve heard sermons on this passage about supporting our leaders. About how our leaders need us just as much as we need them. We need to rally around them and support them and lift them up in prayer. I FULLY agree with this. I love my pastors and can’t imagine doing life without them and my husband and I support them whenever we can.
However; I also think there is a second point in this passage. That we need to be PaWing God AT.ALL.TIMES. When we are in the thick of it and battling for our lives. When we are too tired to go on. When we don’t see the point of going on. When we feel heartbroken and alone. When even breathing is a struggle.
When we are in this place of brokenness, that’s when God is doing what He does best; restoring! The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirt is crushed. (Psalm 34:18.) (You can stand on this verse. It’s a promise from God and God is truth and doesn’t lie!) When we are in tune with God and allow Him in, we are forever changed. Not only will God draw near to us, He will send others to walk through this hell with us. I say this, but I personally struggle with it. When I’m in the thick of it, I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. I don’t want them to quote me scripture; I want them to acknowledge this sucks and that I’ll get through it. When my mom died, I made my husband go to work that day because I knew he wanted to comfort me but all I wanted to do was clean my floor. Yes, I’m horrible person and I need Jesus. I.KNOW.THIS.AND.CLAIM.IT.
Anyway…if you’re in the thick of it, I hope you know you are not alone. Depression, sickness, anxiety, addiction, death, fear and doubt have no place in God’s presence! I pray you find rest and peace. It sucks but you will get through it!!
Thanks for allowing me to share my world with you…welcome to my brain!