Part of me know I had to do it. Part of me didn’t want to. Part of me knew Jesus was in this moment. Part of me didn’t want to. Part of me knew I was standing on Holy ground. Part of me didn’t want to. Part of me wanted to walk away and pretend I never saw her. Part of me didn’t want to.
Fast forward 3 hours to church. We sang this song.
For the unclean, the unholy
For the broken, the unworthy
You came, Jesus you came
For the wounded, for the hurting
For the lost, and for the lonely
You came, Jesus you came
I was wrecked! Gone. Tears wouldn’t stop. It was ugly.
Then the pastor said this:
When Jesus stepped ashore, he was met by a demon-possessed man from the town. For a long time this man had not worn clothes or lived in a house, but had lived in the tombs. Luke 8:26 (If you don’t know this story, Jesus heals him.)
The woman from the morning, was this man.
She was demon possessed. Her demon came in the form of drugs, and she was bound. She was hallucinating. In this moment, she was reliving events from her past that no one should have to endure, ever. She was in pain. She made me uncomfortable. I din’t want the kids with us to see or hear her. I wanted to walk away, so, I did.
This woman lived on the streets, her house was a pile of dirty blankets.
Her life was a tomb, she was living in death. I can’t imagine living her life. To be bound. To see no way out. To have to use drugs to make it through the day. To try and forget the past; but to relive it daily.
I talk a lot about being the hands and feet of Jesus. It’s not that hard right? If your church is collecting items for the needy, it’s easy to plan ahead and buy extra items from the store, or clean out your closet and donate clothes you don’t like anymore. But when you don’t plan ahead. When the moment is unexpected and raw. When you have a decision to make right then and there, it’s hard.
The grace of Jesus is he give us second chances. Peter denied Jesus 3 times before Jesus’s death. But by grace, he was given a second chance after Jesus’s resurrection to profess his love for Jesus 3 times.
Like the above song says. Jesus came for unclean, unholy, broken, unworthy, wounded, hurting, lost and lonely. These words described the woman in front of me. Jesus came for her. I needed to bring Jesus to her, in a way she could see and feel. But the truth is, those words describe me too. Its easy to look at people and be cynical. To judge them and their life choices. Jesus came for her just as much as me.
I was given a second chance too. I ended up face to face with the woman when I realized she didn’t have shoes. (Did I mention it was 20 degrees outside?) I knew what I had to do. Part of me didn’t want to.
I was crying when I got in the van. One of the young girls with us asked if I was crying because I gave her my shoes and was so happy to help her. BLESS. I told her “No. I’m crying because I really liked those shoes.”
I’m not as selfless as I would like to be. Selfless is hard. But when the opportunity presents it’s self, which part wins?