Me: “Good thing you don’t have homework tonight; you’ll need to get ready for dance as soon as you get home from school.”
7 year old daughter, Danica: “Ugh grrrr, hmmm”
Me: “Um, is there a werewolf in the back seat?”
Me: “Ok, do you want to tell me why you’re growling?”
Danica: “The dance recital is coming up and I’m afraid I’ll mess up.”
Me: “Oh baby, I mess up all the time.”
Danica: “I know.”
Me: “Thanks for that. The only perfect person who ever walked this earth was whom?”
This happened a few days ago and I can’t stop thinking about it. Did I handle it correctly? How do I validate her feelings while trying to calm her fears? How do I tell her it’s normal to be scared yet reassure her everything will be ok? How do I turn this everyday conversation into a meaningful, heartfelt one?
Well first, I stop thinking because I can think myself into a headache. And when I have a headache I want a Coke, and I don’t need a Coke, so stop thinking Katie!
All I can do is listen. I’m great listener but a not so good calmer. My first response it to say “calm down killer. In the grand scheme of life your dance recital won’t make one bit of difference.” This is usually when my husband steps in and reminds me that in her 7 year old world, this isn’t just a big deal, it’s the only deal. I try to focus on the big picture so much that I forget the small moments matter because they make up the big picture.
I hope I’m not the only mamma out there struggling with this. I hope I’m not the only one who worries that I trample over her feelings, that I give bad advice or that I gave advice when all she wanted was a hug. I tell her “when life gets hard, shake your booty.” I try so hard to make her tough that I forget she’s 7 and just wants me to wipe her tears and kiss her elbow.
To all the mammas out there (and the papas, I know a few of you read my blog) you’re doing a great job! Stop thinking and just be. Be the listener, the advice giver and the hugger. If you mess up, be the parent that says you’re sorry. Relax and just breathe; your kids think you’re way better than you think you are.
Thanks for allowing me to share my world with you…welcome to my brain.