Tub of Tears

22 Jun

Brandn said our 2 month old daughter’s head stunk.  What?!?!  We had spent some time earlier at the Farmer’s Market so I wasn’t sure if her head smelt like patchouli, hemp or organic beet juice.  It didn’t smell like those, in fact, it didn’t smell like anything at all.  According to my husband, if her head doesn’t smell like Johnson & Johnson’s it stinks.  For fear of her being the stinky kid in the church nursery tomorrow, I gave her a bath.

While looking into her eyes and washing her sweet little toes I start to tear up.  These were not tears of joy and gratitude because God gave me this precious gift to love.  Nor were they tears of pride knowing this little girl will grow up to be awesome because, after all, she’s half me.  No, they were tears of heartache because I know there are sweet babies out there that have never had a bath.

Baths, something we take for granted.  I am so thankful that my girls live in a house where they have water at their disposal.  I shed tears for the tiny ones that live in places where hot clean water doesn’t exist.  For children who have to walk miles for water that we wouldn’t dream of touching.  Tears for babies that are dirty because their parents are consumed with other stuff that prevents them from even noticing their children.  Tears for children whose bellies never get full.  Tears for babies that will never experience love.  Tears for girls that are so desperate for love they will do anything for it…tears.

We sponsor children, babies and pregnant women through World Vision and Compassion International but is this enough?  No.  My heart aches for children who don’t have the basic necessities to live and my heart also aches because there is so much more I could do about it, but don’t.  I volunteered with Big Brothers Big Sisters but had to stop when I was pregnant; I didn’t have any energy and I needed sleep and our weekly outings were physically draining on me.

All I want to do is love on some children.  I want to do more than just send money.  I want to love physically and fiercely.  I want to give hugs and wipe skinned knees.  God knows this desire of my heart, He’s the one that put it there.  I don’t know how or when but He will see it done and rock my world while doing it.


Thanks for allowing me to share my world with you…welcome to my brain.


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