1. Touch my belly! 3 kinds of people are allowed to touch my belly: family, friends and little old grandma’s…..that’s it. I don’t know why people think a pregnant belly is a free pass to touch me. Did I walk up to you and rub your belly? No, I did not so why is it ok for you to touch mine? I do think, however, little old grandmas get the free pass…they have earned it. They have lived a lifetime and I’m sure it takes them back to when their children were babies. The other day at the store an old lady, who didn’t speak any English, walked up to me with the biggest smile on her face. She said something and all I got was “baby, touch.” I smiled and said sure. She placed her hands on my belly and she looked so peaceful.
2. Call me fat! I work at the front desk of a big office. A plumber came in the other day to fix something. This guy has been to our office many times; he has seen me not pregnant and we have talked about my pregnancy many times. The other day he said, and I quote “I better give my badge back to the fat lady up front.” He said it down the hall and I didn’t hear him, then he repeated it to my face when he walked up. Seriously!?! Are you kidding me? I played it off like it didn’t bother me but I told both him, and the Facilities Manager that was standing right besides him laughing, that he better find a new plumber because I’m the gatekeeper and I’m never letting him in this building again. I told several co-workers who started a campaign to get him in trouble. They all contacted the company to complain about him being a jerk….hopefully it worked!
3. Ask if I’m craving all this food! I did a lunch run the other day to McDonalds. I’m sure I am not the first person in history to do a work lunch run. I ordered quite a bit of food and when I got up to the window, the pimple faced, braces wearing guy asked me if this was a craving. Seriously!?! I don’t know if he was trying to be funny or just stupid but I wanted to punch him.
4. Tell me about your 1.5 pound placenta! Not making this up dear readers. A lady started talking to me about how she gained over 60 pounds with her first baby. She ate everything in site and was not looking forward to loosing all the weight. During labor, her doctor told her she had a huge placenta and it was the healthiest he had seen in a long time. Ok, I know birth is a beautiful miracle God created, but there are some things that should not be said. Yes, I realize I am now sharing this story with you, but it’s to educate you and, just in case you weren’t sure, tell you it’s not ok to talk about placentas!!
Whew. I feel better now!
Thanks for allowing me to share my world with you…welcome to my brain!