If there was a class taught at the local mommy hang out place called “Labor 101”, I would not be qualified to teach it. Heck, I would be qualified to completely fail it. I have 2 children (6.5 years old and 13 days old) and I still am clueless about being in labor. Let me share my 2 experiences with you:
Rewind 6.5 years ago. I was at home and due in 2 days. I started noticing my stomach hurting every so often but didn’t think much about it. Then I kept having to go to the bathroom, but I was a grown, potty-trained woman so I couldn’t understand why it felt like I was slightly peeing myself. When my stomach aches really starting hurting I finally called my doctor. I explained to the nurse what was going on and she told me to go to the hospital. Well like I said, I was due in 2 days so I really didn’t see why she was sending me there. I called my husband at work and my part of the conversation went a little like this:
“My stomach hurts and I’m NOT peeing myself but the nurse said I need to go to the hospital…no I don’t think I’m having contractions….well I’m not due for 2 more days…no I don’t think you need to meet me at the hospital; they’ll probably just send me home….no really, you don’t have…fine, I’ll see you in a minute.
When we arrived, I was dilated to a 4 and my amniotic fluid was leaking. The nurse there said “congratulations, you’re having a baby today!” We arrived at 10:45am and Danica was born at 4:45pm.
13 Days ago. I was at work and due in 9 days. It was” Sales Meeting” day, the biggest day of the month where the President, Vice President, the whole Sales team and corporate visitors were in a meeting and I’m in-charge of the books, set-up, breakfast, lunch, drinks and clean up. I started noticing contractions around 9am and they were every 4-7 minutes. I know 5 minutes is the magic number BUT I wasn’t due for 9 days and I had some contractions that were 7 minutes apart. 7 is NOT 5 so I kept on working. At 10:30am I couldn’t hang any longer. Much to my co-worker’s dismay, I drove myself to the hospital. I called my husband and my part of the conversation went a little like this:
“I’m going to the hospital, I’m having contractions…no, I don’t think I’m in labor, I’m not due for 9 days….7 minutes, I think you’re in labor when they’re 5 minutes apart so they’ll probably send me home….no you don’t need to leave work….no really….fine, I’ll meet you there.
When I arrived the first thing out of my mouth was “I want an epidural.” The nurse said, “yep, you’re in labor.” I was dilated to a 6 and signing all the necessary paperwork in-between contractions. I didn’t give a crap about what I was signing, all I wanted was that stupid epidural. I arrived at 11am and Willow was born at 2:25pm.
While pushing for an hour, the 3 reoccurring thoughts I had were: 1) Dear Jesus, please get this baby out of me. 2) Darn you Adam and Eve, this pain is all your fault. 3) I would love a c-section right now.
Clearly I know nothing about the signs of labor. Only about 5% of babies are actually born on their due date; it should be renamed to Estimated Time of Arrival, so smart girls like me won’t think that is the day the baby will actually be born. If you are pregnant and are due soon, if you have stomach aches that are consistently 4-7 minutes apart or you are constantly wiping yourself, this might be a really good time to contact your doctor.
Thanks for allowing me to share my world with you…welcome to my brain!