Monday, 8:30 pm my phone rings. If you know me, you know my goal bedtime is 8, so when it rang I was annoyed. I didn’t recognize the number so I didn’t pick up. 2 minutes later, my husband’s phone rings…not good.
It’s Robert, my step-dad. My mom is in the ER and she stopped breathing…really not good.
Next phone call; her heart has stopped…horrible.
Next phone call; she’s gone…no words.
I know I can’t play this game but IF I had know that Thanksgiving was the last time I would have seen her, you better believe that weekend would have been different. I would have talked to her more. I would have asked her questions. I would have rolled my eyes less and told her I love her more.
Processing this is hard and to be honest, I’m sure I haven’t processed it completely.
While she was alive I didn’t honor the way I should have so I will honor her in her death.
She was the most generous person I have known and if she could meet a need she would.
When Danica was little, she watched her every Wednesday while we worked.
When we put Danica in preschool, we were having trouble working the tuition in our budget and I asked her for some help with the first month’s payment. She sent a check that would cover the whole year plus some.
One weekend I was on-call and had to work and Brandn was going out of town so I called her last minute and she rearranged her schedule to come and stay with Danica.
She gave her very nice car to someone at her church because they needed it more.
We go to the Women of Faith Conference every year and she usually brought a friend and paid for their ticket and hotel and always left with CDs and books for people.
Most of these examples involve money. She was not rich by any means; she just found joy in blessing others. The Bible says to love others as yourself; I think she figured that one out.
I laugh because when I was in labor with Danica, she was driving me out of my mind and I almost threw her out of the room. She was staring at the monitor and telling me when I was having a contraction…thank you…thank you mom for letting me know because the most excruciating pain I have ever felt in my entire life every couple of minutes was no indication. It saddens me that she will never see Danica grow up. It saddens me even more that the new baby will never know her.
Her Memorial service was packed; standing room only. I think half of San Angelo squeezed into the room.
I don’t care if I sound like a Hallmark card, I’m gonna say it anyway: So many people loved her and the world just lost a very special lady.
Thanks for allowing me to share my world with you…..welcome to my brain.