What do you want?

12 Dec

What do you want?

A very simple yet complex question.  Jesus asks it in John 1:38.  Why did He ask that?  Isn’t He the creator of the universe?  Doesn’t He know my inner most thoughts before I even think them?

Was he asking with attitude or annoyance?  Like a mother who has a 5 year old daughter who doesn’t realize she’s being ignored and won’t stop and the mother finally  yells at her?  That was totally hypothetical of course!

He knows the answer but I believe He asks us so that we have to think about it and answer it….so here goes….

What do you want?  (I read this last night and it slapped me across the face.)

I want a new job.  I’m not happy at my current job so that’s why I want a new one.  I also want to live my life according to God’s will; I know this last statement sounds like a pretty padded answer but it’s true and it’s hard.

Here’s why the slapping.

I want a new job b/c something needs to change.  I don’t see my current job changing anytime soon; hence wanting the new one.  What if the places I apply at don’t call me?  What if the places I interview at don’t hire me?  What if I don’t get a new job?  I know something needs to change so if my situation doesn’t change then that means I have too…..OUCH!!!!!

Change is a result of self reflection. For me, self reflection is a result of being slapped and once I figure out what needs to be changed it’s hard to peel back the layers and get after it.

I want to live according to God’s will.  If I don’t find a new job is it God’s will for me to remain at the current one or was it a result of  me sucking at the interviews?  I don’t know.  All I know is I’m currently at a place where I don’t want to be and it hit me this morning; I could be exactly where God wants me to be.

Crap…Now what?!?

I have no idea.  That’s what I need to figure out.

Thanks for allowing me to share my world with you…..welcome to my brain.


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