I’m not saying emotions are stupid. I’m just saying I’m not a fan when they catch me off guard. God gave us emotions; He wants us to use them. Emotions are vital for life; they allow us to feel and well, be human. If God didn’t want us to have them, He wouldn’t have given them to us. The tricky part is knowing how to handle the emotions we are feeling and not allowing us to get stuck in that emotional state.
B and I had talked about something several months ago and decided to pray about it and talk again in a few months. During that time frame I was praying for us to be on the same page and to prepare my heart for the conversation. I thought I was prepared. Before we had “the talk” I knew what the outcome would be. I had talked with a friend that morning about it and I was fine. But when B and I talked, I was not fine. I guess hearing B say the words made it official. The tears, that I was NOT expecting came; which pissed me off. So now I was heartbroken and mad. Not a good combination. 😉
Let me stop right here for my over reacting, dramatic, family members and friends: We are not moving again, getting divorced, pregnant and nothing is wrong with D.
Sunday morning I woke up and was still upset. I tried to hide it at church; apparently I did a crappy job at that. One girl caught me sitting on the bathroom floor crying. Our church is in a high school so I’m almost positive I’m not the first chick who has done that. Another friend asked if I was ok and I said no and the tears started again. She asked if I wanted to talk about; I did not. You know when you’re trying to pull it together and act like everything is perfect but then someone sees through the facade? Yeah, that happened like 5 times Sunday.
So now it’s Monday. I would be lying if I said I was back to normal. I’m still upset but I’m not allowing myself to stay in the place I was yesterday morning. I’m praying and I’m being pro-active to make the changes that need to be made…this story will have a happy ending.
Thanks for allowing me to share my world with you…welcome to my brain.