So today was interesting. It’s funny how something can cause you to cry and then 10 minutes later you realize that there are way bigger issues out there. So what happened to me in the 10 minutes in-between? God slapped me.
B and I are in the process of looking for a house. I will spare you all the dramatic details about this because that is not the point of this blog. To make a very long story short: They will finance us, BUT we need a good size down payment. We can afford the mortgage, but we don’t have the down payment.
I was talking to a friend before church about how I’m coming to grips that we can’t afford to live where we want to live and that I had to swallow some pride and ask family members for down payment help. And thinking about getting a loan for that much overwhelms me.
A little while later we were talking about World Vision sponsor kids. Our church sponsors a little girl and we put out 5 more cards for people to look at and hopefully sponsor a kid. I told them I can’t look at the kids because “my heart isn’t prepared to look at those right now.” What that really meant was I don’t want to look at the kids because there is a need and I want to ignore it because meeting that need would require me to spend $35/month.
Then I walked into the cafeteria while the band was rehearsing to check out the hottie playing the bass (f0r those of you that don’t know, my husband is the hot base player.) They were playing this song and I started worshiping; this song is ridiculous and you should listen to it. Well God decided to use this moment to do some slapping. The lyrics I was singing are: “Come be the fire inside of me, come be the flame upon my heart. Come be the fire inside of me, until you and I are one.”
The tears came and wouldn’t stop.
How can I be one with God when there are 5 kids on the table that I’m choosing to ignore. There is a obvious need and I’m not willing to spend $35 to meet it. These kids go to bed hungry and wake up hungry. They don’t go to school, they only have one pair of clothes, and they most likely have parents that are dying of AIDS. They have to walk miles to get clean water and they risk being picked up and sold into human trafficking every day.
So I walked my crying butt over to the table and looked at the kids. He is 4 and his name is, are you ready, this is seriously his name. His name is Goodluck. Oy my gosh, how cool is that?!? As I type this I literally just realized his birthday is in 2 days! You better believe I’m crying…AGAIN!!
Jesus calls us to love the least of these. We are rich by this world’s standards. If you make more than 35K you are in the top 4% of the world’s income earners. We have a social obligation to those living below poverty. How can I call myself a Christian, a Christ follower, if I choose to turn a blind eye to those in need?
I woke up this morning stressing about how are we gonna come up with a down payment and Jesus reminded me there are kids out there stressing about if they’re gonna eat today. I’m not downplaying the stress or importance of buying a house, but I realized that even though it’s stressful I am blessed and I need to do my part in helping those in need.
Like I’ve said before, I’m a mess and a work in progress.
Thanks for allowing me to share my world with you…welcome to my brain.